i remember when days used to be like that picture. your concerns consisted of the following:
a) who you were going to play with that day?
b) would there be cake involved?
no worries, no loyalties. just fun and the occasional cake and/or pudding, sometimes both.
i used to have this friend. used to being the operative term. he had this grin that drove me insane, and infectious high pitched laughter that sent shivers down my spine. he had a sinewy body that contorted to different shapes. his hair smelled of pert shampoo. his angular face was so exquisite and made me smile. he used to run around breathlessly attempting to catch dragonflies. i used to watch him run in the buttery sunlight. i loved him.
you always think that things would be better once you grew up. but sometimes it doesn't turn out right. sometimes things turn cold. sometimes you run out of things to say.
sometimes, things only belong to a certain place and time. and that's something you just have to accept i guess. there are moments where i think of him and smile. i wish sometimes that things would have turned out differently that night in 1998. we were too foolish and dumb and too young to understand.
coming back was a mistake.
he drove me away.
for good i guess.
he knows i loved him.
as he once loved me.
i guess it wasn't enough to garner the least bit of civility.
